Hi Friday, I’m so glad you’re here (if you hadn’t noticed, I’ve given up on the haikus). Now, I’m not the one to go about posting cute things (example: post below), but these guilty looking dog videos collected by Urlesque were beyond passing up. I had a dog named Molly and she used to tear through garbage cans, hide whole chicken carcasses in baskets, and other such unsightly things around the house, and guilty looks were a commonplace with her. While watching these videos it always seems like the dog was probably having a ball when they were tearing things up, but once they were done, they remembered, “Oh shit, I have NO way to clean this up.” They hide, give big teary eyes or try distracting you by requesting a belly rub. And most of the time, we give in. I always did.
They have about nine dogs, but LeeLoo was the best:
One day I ran across pictures of really creepy lobster/rolly polly like things attacking a bag of Fritos. I shared it with my boss Nicole and suddenly began to describe my ultimate hate of deep sea animals, a hate I didn’t realize I had until that day. She suggested I start a blog about animals I hate and I thought it was a good idea, but I wasn’t sure. Maybe someone else had one already? Nope. No one. Still didn’t make one, but after seeing this awful creature, I can assuredly say…I hate it with every fiber of my being and I will begin posting animals I hate on my blog.
I provide no facts or insights about this animal (innocently called the coconut crab), but I know it scares the ever loving shit out of me. If you’re brave enough to read up about it you can go here.
Excuse me? Can I borrow some toilet paper?
Imagine this scenario. You’re in Guam and you’re on the beach and you have to go to the bathroom. And since most bathrooms I’ve seen in parks and beaches have no doors, there’s nothing to keep things from getting in. So you’re sitting in your stall and the next thing you know on of these creatures comes crawling right under. Can you imagine it going for your ankle?!? This thing breaks coconuts as a lifestyle. It’s the very thing nightmares are made of. And pets. Yes, people have these things as pets.
Would you like to take a nap under the shade?
Or say you’d like to take nice nap under the cool shade of a coconut tree…the wrong coconut tree. Bam! Next thing you know you have a crab attached to your face. (Or for some of them, the entire upper half of your body.) I hope they never develop a taste for human flesh, or we’re screwed.
I don’t get to go to the waterslides or water parks much. I’ve been to one, when I was like, 10. Mainly because it takes so freaking long to wash my hair after I’m done (a post on THAT lovely topic in the future). So, since I planned to wash my hair that weekend, I eagerly accepted an invitation to the Birch Bay Waterslides on Saturday.
Let me also state I can hardly swim (not that that is required to be able to when visiting waterslides), but I kind of panic when submerged underwater.
We get to there around 3ish and I regret the two piece I’m wearing, but soldier through. It’s cloudy and a little rainy so there are only a few groups. My first ride through, I was screaming all the way down, then panicking that I wouldn’t drown or need assistance from a lifeguard when I hit the bottom. I did not drown or need assistance, but I must look funny when I exit the slide, because Aaron, Chris and Trent laughed at me every. single. time.
So we ride those a few times and then head over to the river rafting ride. PROTIP: Try to raise your butt up a little before each section. I’m sure it’s part of the reason my butt cheeks are sore, they kept slamming into the sections. It’s like being spanked with a sledgehammer…or some wide heavy object.
At the far end of the park they’ve got two dark slides a completely dark twist slide and the other that just drops straight down, called the Hydro-cliff Drop Slide. The twist slide was fun, but it took major convincing to get me to go on the Big Drop, but I did it. Man I wish I hadn’t.
Chris and I went up about five or six flights of stairs to get to the top and there is just one lonely guy up there. I told Chris the damn ride was desolate for a reason. After Chris went I sat down on the slide and though the lifeguard told me to keep my arms and legs crossed, it was easier said than done, but I should of tried harder.
That “ride” is seriously seconds long, but I had time to think I was dying (you get a little air at the start), scream, pinch my nose and cross and uncross my legs several times (while mentally telling myself to do so). Chris mentioned that I definitely didn’t follow instructions on having my legs crossed. Let me tell you why it’s a good reason to do so. Because you will feel absolutely violated after that slide. Chris had to help me out and I immediately (after tugging my bottoms out of my ass) and sat on the ground hugging my knees laughing and crying. The water was so violently forced up my butt I felt like was raped, or as my mom told me “had a return to the prison yard”. The only feeble comment I could make about the ride was, “Wow, Chris I just got raped by WATER.”
Later, a tiny slide almost removed my bottoms. My feeble attempt at doing a cool spin trick left me at the bottom of the pool trying pull half of my swimsuit back over to the other side. Let’s just say after it’s all said and done, I have strong feelings about what happens around my poor little rear end.
After further discussion, the running price for me to get on that drop slide again is about $60.
Which should cover the therapy I might be seeking…
What you’re looking at above, are all the various disasters that have occurred so far TODAY and a few prolonged events. It’s almost like stalking the Earth constantly. Portland today? Power outage. Qatar? Biohazard spill. I could go on forever. This realtime Global Disaster Alert Map is all courtesy of the International Disaster and Risk Conference.
To tell you the truth I’m kind of obsessed with this site. I’m going to grab a RSS feed, so I can be up to date on the around, oh, 50 earthquakes a day (I knew it happened, but SEEING it, well that’s another story). Did I mention all of the epidemics and biohazards, too? I’ll be further impressed if LHC gets a nice ping on the 10th.
So as many of you know, I’m pretty into video games (understatement I KNOW), and last week was E3, arguably one of the biggest media summits for the industry. Well, I noticed there were about 6 games having to do with zombies. What did I do with that little nugget of information? Well I proposed to my best friends and co-hosts of Gamespeek that we do a zombie themed episode. I thought maybe a little zombie annoyance from my co-hosts, but we ended up running around, falling around in fields and getting choked and bitten by them. Hell after a while we even had a plot. Just poor me trying deliver fun zombie video game news while my co-hosts try to stop me (and of course made me apart of the undead). I ended up getting quite an exercise that day, but for having no more than a few scene ideas when we got together we churned the filming out in just about three hours.
As you can see above we awarded ourselves with some delicious tort afterwards.
If you wanna know about the games we’re talking or mumbling about, you’ll have to check out the video when it comes out. I’ll post the video once it’s up and running.
Putting on the make-up was a lot of fun. I might get a little more creative come Halloween, last year I was a member of Geek Squad. That poor excuses of a costume consisted of me printing out their logo and taping it on my laptop case which had ethernet cords and computer magazines inside. I know. Lame.
At the end of the day, I think the toughest part was taking off the make-up. Well not that difficult, but kind of cringe inducing.
All in all it was a fun Sunday. I was beat-up, cut-up and bruised, but as my friend Aaron says, “You can’t have a podcast without some bruising.”
Well I doubt the next podcast will be zombie themed, so I’m a little concerned…
My friend Aaron’s band, Dragline, had a show last night in Bellingham at WhaaM. I take pictures for them when I can and have them posted here. I really love taking pictures at shows and it’s really fun to capture the energy of the band and the audience at a hardcore show, they just really get into it.
Here it is. Witness us delighting folks of all ages during the oldest Independence Day celebration in Washington State, the 74th annual Loggerodeo in Sedro-Woolley, WA. This is where Chris and I grew up. -Aaron
Gamespeek Episode 83 features a Mario Kart Wii review, news about the upcoming Tales of Vesperia and other 360 RPGS, and plenty of Rock Band and Guitar Hero info, including details on GH Mobile, GH: On Tour and GHIV. Which music series are you more excited for? This episode features “Mega Man II - Metal Man” [...]
Lauren
