Category Archives: Things I’ll Never Understand

Homeward Bound

I’m heading home on Sunday and we have managed to avoid flying out of Mexico, thank goodness. It’s been a lovely vacation, but due to recent circumstances I’d really like to be home. Not to mention the city part of me is creeping back.

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Things I Get Excited About…

Fictional destruction, cataclysmic events and horror. (I own a Doomsday Dictionary if that’s of any hint)
Computers and technology
Video games
Photography
Electronica (8bit, house, etc…)

Dancing around my apartment with a dress on.

Sometimes, I Get Really Detailed Dreams

As per my friend Aaron, who told me I have the most detail and long dreams of anyone he’s known. He not the first person to tell me that either.

Here is the dream I had only moments before waking up this morning.

My mom and I went to the airport to pick up my dad so they could come visit my work and my co-workers. We walk into the office, which is located near a checkout stand on the floor of a Target. My dad mentions he has to pick up a few things so he goes into the store and I walk over to my desk. I mention to them, “Hey my dad’s here, he’ll be around in a few.” But he was already  coming over. One of my co-workers, teases him, “Hey! Big, tall scary man coming through over here!” My dad walks over and I introduce the two and because my dad isn’t finished shopping he mentions that he’ll be back later and walks back into the store.

I turn around to see my sister, Shannon, and my best friend, Layla in a corner building a see-through elevator and reinforcing the automatic doors. When my dad comes back over he says, “What are they doing?” I explain that we needed an elevator and they were reinforcing the doors so that robots couldn’t get through. We have so many automated machines if they ever have an uprising this place will be fortified. That didn’t sit well with him and he told me that Shannon and I needed to leave now with him and our mom, it was not safe and we could take our money and go to an isolated place with a ‘fixed economy’ (Ed note: I don’t know why he said that, CNN was playing on my TV while I slept) and then he walked away.

I looked to my sister and told her that we should get out of here, I did have a good feeling about where we were anymore. She told me adamantly that she had a job to do so I suggested that we leave immediately after she finishes. She agrees.

I went upstairs and my mom was piloting a helicopter and my dad was boarding. I promised that we would follow soon, but suddenly I was on the helicopter flying away. I knew this isn’t where I wanted to go, but as the copter banked to the side I began to slide out. Nick Stokes from CSI was now piloting the helicopter and he grabbed my hand to make sure I wouldn’t fall out, but unfortunately I wasn’t going to make it. He flew within inches of the ground and dropped me.

I get up in a parking lot surrounded by narrow staircases with people packed in them yelling for me to come inside. I ran for the one in front of me, but as I sprint for the opening I pass a couple standing next to each other not moving facing the staircase. Once inside a loud bullhorn announces people in the light can go to the safe zones. I can go, but it’s close to the cutoff so I wait.

The couple is still standing in front of us, and they have frozen smiles on their faces.

A shadow from a plane covers most of the light in front of us and suddenly the couple is in the doorway not moving, still smiling. I notice that they’re zombies. The woman next to me slips and falls into the couple they immediately began to eat her and two more come in from both sides to join in devouring her. A little girl zombie runs into the staircase to attack us we push back, but I feel a pain in my arm. She bit me.

The people in the staircase panic, but I reassure them, “It’s alright I won’t fight.” I walk out in the light.

“Does any one have a gun?” I yell. A man in a staircase near by yells back at me. “I have one, but I only have two bullets.”

“That’s fine,” I yell back.

I ask for someone to shoot me. A woman comes forward and I get on my knees. I make my peace as she puts the gun against my head. I count to three over and over again, but she doesn’t shoot. Why? Because she’s freaking holding a conversation with someone! But, eventually I hear a loud bang, and a crack as the bullet hits my skull. A sudden warmth flares up in my head and my face hits the ground. I lie there feeling tired, waiting to die and scared I’ll feel pain soon.

But I realized I was asleep, and I woke up.

So there you go. These dreams aren’t an everyday occurance. Every couple of months I’ll have some crazy detailed epic dream that I remember when I wake up. Maybe it had to do with the whole pepperoni pizza I ate earlier that day. I can’t explain where they come from, but I hope one day one of these crazy dreams will prompt a book.

Final Trip to Daiso or “I warm your ankle up by whole my body.”

All of my stuff in bags!

All of my stuff in bags!

Daiso in Bellis Fair closed permanently on Saturday last weekend, and it was quite the staggering loss for Aaron and I. So we coped with it the best way we could; spending three hours wandering around the store, picking up useful and not so useful items. Not to mention reading all of the wonderful Engrish stamped on nearly all of their products. I walked away with two ginormous bags full of stuff. After that we stopped off at  Target so I could buy a rice cooker. And this is what is looks like laid out on my floor. My apartment is slowly becoming an emporium of wonderful things. Once I’ve organized everything I’ll have to post a walkthough (I swear, it’s going to happen).

All of my stuff on the floor!

All of my stuff on the floor!

roll14-146Anyhoo, back to my glorious purchases. I took pictures of the things I’m super excited for. Namely, my super awesome can’t live without potato and onion bag! I mean come on, who needs ugly potatoes sitting out open in their  plastic bag, or better yet rotting away in some cabinet (trust me on this you do NOT want the latter to happen).  I can’t tell you how many potatoes have grown into a high school science fair lesson in biology and chemistry in my 2.5 years of being on my own. So I found that this bag was a must and I quickly bought it. Now all I need is some potatoes…or onions.

roll14-148Next up. Cute! Sponge! I bought one for my sister too. I also bought a sponge holder, because I need cute household products in order for me to have the slightest drive to keep my apartment orderly. Seriously, if you came in my apartment you wouldn’t know if a woman or man lived there besides alloftheunderwearlayingaroundonthefloor, what were we talking about? Right. roll14-149Cat towels. Got one right the stove. I haven’t decided if it’s just going to be decorative or for actual cleaning, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get a major spill, which should be, like, this week sometime.

I also bought three pairs of chopsitcks, one set  was a bright yellow like sunshine and came in a carrying case. They are my favorite and will be going with me everywhere I go.

And this. Oh you’ll get to know all about this real soon.

I Skipped Out On the Last Tagged Post, So…

7 Quirky Things:

  1. I talk to the television, like attempt to have conversations with the characters (or scream at them). It’s fun to do especially making up dialogue for the characters.
  2. I’m terrified at public toilet seats that are up. I’m not sure if it’s rooted in childhood, but they still give me shivers.
  3. I drink dill pickle juice and olive juice, yum.
  4. I love technology (which is a complete understatement), but I mainly abhor communication via cell phone and e-mail. I try to avoid it if I can.
  5. I like band-aids, a lot. I’ll put them on when I don’t need them. Scars are cool, but I hate papercuts.
  6. Before I get on a plane I run the flight number though my head in a fake news broadcast about the plane crashing to see if it flows (if it doesn’t then I feel better). Morbid, I KNOW.
  7. I get deja vu a lot, weirdly enough it’s in situations I’ve never been in. I had it once when I made my first trip to Spain, strangely it was involving a black cat.

3 Things I love about myself:

  1. I love my friends and family who make up a good portion of who I am. And I love that I’m a twin.
  2. I love that I’m passionate about my hobbies (mainly video games and photography). : )
  3. The fact that I don’t act the way people expect I should.

If Cari, Poem, Aaron, Shannon or anyone else for that matter would like to contribute, imma tagging you.

This Sums It Up Nicely

“The economy is now officially faring worse than a mother in a Disney movie.” — a comment on Gawker.com on the Dow Dropping below 10,000

Animals I Hate : Entry #1 Coconut Crab

 

Dude. That trash can? It's all yours.

Dude. That trash can? It's yours.

One day I ran across pictures of really creepy lobster/rolly polly like things attacking a bag of Fritos. I shared it with my boss Nicole and suddenly began to describe my ultimate hate of deep sea animals, a hate I didn’t realize I had until that day. She suggested I start a blog about animals I hate and I thought it was a good idea, but I wasn’t sure. Maybe someone else had one already? Nope. No one. Still didn’t make one, but after seeing this awful creature, I can assuredly say…I hate it with every fiber of my being and I will begin posting animals I hate on my blog.

I provide no facts or insights about this animal (innocently called the coconut crab), but I know it scares the ever loving shit out of me. If you’re brave enough to read up about it you can go here.

Excuse me? Can I borrow some toilet paper?

Excuse me? Can I borrow some toilet paper?

Imagine this scenario. You’re in Guam and you’re on the beach and you have to go to the bathroom. And since most bathrooms I’ve seen in parks and beaches have no doors, there’s nothing to keep things from getting in. So you’re sitting in your stall and the next thing you know on of these creatures comes crawling right under. Can you imagine it going for your ankle?!? This thing breaks coconuts as a lifestyle. It’s the very thing nightmares are made of. And pets. Yes, people have these things as pets.

Would you like to take a nap under the shade?

Would you like to take a nap under the shade?

Or say you’d like to take nice nap under the cool shade of a coconut tree…the wrong coconut tree. Bam! Next thing you know you have a crab attached to your face. (Or for some of them, the entire upper half of your body.) I hope they never develop a taste for human flesh, or we’re screwed.

I wouldn’t even want to eat one of those things (even if I could, allergies and all). All I can imagine is a reanimated claw wrapping itself around my throat. I’ll irrational fear I read at the Best Week Ever blog: “Sure, they taste delicious…but they also seriously look like gigantic cockroaches with huge murder hands. — Michelle Collins, On Lobsters”

I’d say these things look like giant spiders with armor and huge murder hands.

And for the sake of your sanity DON’T look up Japanese spider crabs.

Seriously.